29 Apr 2011
New York, New York (HAHAJK) – The U.S. envoy to the United Nations released a statement Thursday that Moammar Gaddafi was issuing out Viagra pills to his troops so they could increase their level of sexual violence.
A college student's photographic rendering of what Ghaddafi and his soldiers may look like
Several U.N. diplomats who attended a closed-door Security Council meeting on Libya told Reuters, that U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice raised the Viagra issue in the context of increasing reports of sexual violence by Gaddafi's troops.
Rice raised the point that there were increased reports of angry Libyan soldiers running around with large threatening boners, a diplomat said on condition of anonymity. These boners mean business.
Pfizer Inc's drug Viagra is used to treat impotence, and give men rock hard and sustainable boners.
Diplomats said if it were true that Gaddafi's troops were being issued Viagra, it could indicate they were being encouraged by their commanders to relieve the strain on their unnaturally engorged sex organs, and engage in unwanted sexual intercourse to terrorize the population in areas that have supported the rebels.
Unfortunately it also would warrant a war crime.
Several diplomats said Rice provided no evidence for the Viagra allegation, and that she was just talking out of her a**. Rice then directed diplomats to look hard at the bulbous crotches of Gaddafi’s soldiers.
She spoke of reports of soldiers getting Viagra and raping, a diplomat said. She spoke of Gaddafi's soldiers using rape as a weapon.
U.N. council members agreed though if the Gaddafi soldiers were indeed trying to use rape as a weapon, rebels should just shoot them in the genitals.
In a battle of automatic weapons versus rape, automatic weapons will win every time.
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